Some pangs for a friday night

Finally got a break from working ten straight days. While rushing to get the early train home the pangs start to hit. Flashbacks; beer at the bar before the train, beer on the train, get home, see family, open a wine, take some shots……blurry eating with the family. Wake up on the couch at 2am. Yey friday night.
Not tonight. I’m cool. I walk in the door and greet my loved ones while the flashbacks keep playing in my head. I’m cool but I’m still thinking about those stupid wasted friday nights. Besides I still have a vice or two to keep me busy but nothing’s wasted anymore.

As I successfully meld among my family….a few more pangs.

Will I ever visit a winery again? No more day trips? Would I just go there and watch people sample? Will my family be shortchanged if I dont go? I never visited Italy or Spain. I always planned to go there. I heard they keep the best wine there. Like the Germans keep the best beer there and dont export. No more champagne in our wedding glasses on our anniversary?Im sorry does that cake have rum in it?I still have a can of the original four loko with alcohol, caffeine and a million other types of meine before it was made illegal to sell. I was saving it and now I’ll never finish it?


4 thoughts on “Some pangs for a friday night

  1. Hello gfnj this is your conscience speaking. Why don’t you tell everyone that since Saturday early afternoon, you were dying spend the rest of your weekend just drinking liquor.

    Hello conscience, you’re correct in what you stated above. But I stood my ground. I’ll elaborate in a future post that even YOU my conscience would want to read.

  2. I know. I know. ‘Never’ is a long time, ‘never ever’ is worse.

    Sobriety is exhausting and depressing sometimes. This is how I learned to count my breaths – it helped me to focus on now (not ‘never ever’) and I toughed the pangs out that way.

    Hang in there… where you are now is so much better. You know that. The pangs will never really go away, but now I see them for what they are: distractions, lies, fuzzy memories drenched in alcohol. Fake. This is real. Reality is good.


  3. Hey, thanks for your comment today. Huge congrats on the 128 days. I see you’ve gone a little slow on blogging, fair enough, it’s hard to keep writing (sometimes I feel like I”m just repeating myself all the time. Still sober! Still more emotional than before!).. stay in touch by commenting on mine if you will, I’d love to hear how you are getting on. You’re doing so great…. xxxx

  4. I’m pleased you’re out and about on the blogs… hope you update soon. I want to read about your battle with your conscience. I’ve been doing a lot of that too.

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